Feelings
by CaptainBlueRobin
Summary: He didn't know what to do. For once in his life he couldn't think- he couldn't analyze- he couldn't do anything. And it terrified him. (That dark!bluepulse fanfic nobody really wanted) Give it a chance?
1. Chapter 1

Thad wasn't exactly the friendliest guy in the neighborhood. Well, for starters he was literally created to hate and see the world as inferior mistakes. He himself was a logical and prideful guy, but knew nothing more than loathing and numbers. Any other emotion was a disgrace in his eyes and doing things without thinking it through would always end up as a mistake. It seems like he's a jerk, but how else was he supposed to act like? He was created to be the opposite of the fun, impulsive, and social guy named Bart Allen. Thad was raised to be a clone of hatred and to strike the world as a prideful Thawne. However, these days he doesn't know what to do because now he _feels_ things and it's absolutely awful. He's never been good at experiencing different emotions besides utter hostility towards everything. So when he started feeling something else- something much different- he didn't know what to do. He left the fight and went in hiding.

He's just a guy living on the streets now- no home, no family, and nothing that can fill in this… loneliness that's swelling in his insides. So that leads him to today, running from the cops after some idiot called them to arrest Thad after stealing one freakin' can of soup. He had to survive somehow, right? Lucky for him he still had his powers so getting away was a breeze. Although he's upset with himself for not thinking things through before grabbing that can.

Soon he's running through an alleyway and through the crack on the wall to get to his, well, 'house'. It was more like a small shack that was hidden behind the wall. What he finds, however, is an extremely _not normal_ guy with the strangest outfit that Thad has ever seen in his life. He stood in silence and analyzed the situation. The man was about six inches taller than him, was completely red and black for some odd reason, and had antennae like legs (?) on his back. His back was faced towards him so Thad couldn't get a good look at his face. Now, why would he be here? The Justice League? He did look awfully a lot like that Blue Beetle he's heard so much about. But why would he be perusing through Thad's things in such a manner that indicates he looks lost? Thad chose the most logical explanation- this strange, red man was after Thad because he was a 'bad guy'. Thad was about to charge up his abilities or speak up but before he could act the man turned around and shot at him with peculiar, staple-like contraptions that pinned him to the wall.

"Who are you? Scarab says not to trust anyone in this dimension. There are too many heroes in this world." The man- no- teenager held a cannon up to Thad's face with a smirk.

Thad rolled his eyes. _Oh_. He's from another dimension. Thad mentally face palmed himself for not putting that outcome into one of his considerations. After analyzing the situation again, Thad deduced that the boy had come from an alternate verse where the heroes from this current one- such as Blue Beetle- were villains. The red teenager had a look of pride and destruction on his face. Almost as if he already blasted Thad to pieces. Thad mentally snorted at the ridiculousness of that face.

"I am Thaddeus Thawne, it's a pleasure to be of your acquaintance. Now excuse me, but can you let me go and get the crap away from my house?"

Thad knew that the last bit sounded unnecessary but with reasoning he needed to let this guy know he wasn't a hero. And boy, he had a lot of angry steam that needed to be released from him after all of his developed years of hostility.

"You can't speak like that to me! I'm the Scarlet Scarab! I've killed runts like you in seconds without questioning them. So excuse me for trying to change my ways of violence on sight, and trying to convert to a life of pacifism."

"Some life of pacifism- you broke into my house and expect me to approach you with kindness? Some type of peaceful arrival you have. Now, let me go- I'm not one of the good guys."

Scarlet Scarab looked at Thad questionably before pulling off the staple with ease. Once Thad was out, he brushed himself off as if he had just gotten his clothes dirty. He then looked up at the strange red teenager with curiosity and examined him- the way he stood, the way his eyes glanced at him in a sort of crazy way, the way his unnatural hands quivered and trembled. This guy was obviously lost and trying to hide his fear. Thad tried to decide what the heck he was supposed to do with a confused mess like this one.

Finally, a logical idea popped into his mind and he decided to act on it. He'd offer the teen to stay. Gain his trust, his power. This way he would be able to understand his feelings as well. The ones he despised, but desperately needed to lean on. Desperately needed to _understand_. So, his first objective was to get the older teen to reveal his identity. Which was probably going to be difficult, but Thad knew he could achieve it.

"Hey, if you're so great. Will you give me the _honor_ of inviting you to stay at my house?" Thad had never felt so humiliated before but he knew this was one step to getting closer to the obvious idiot.

"That would be… great."

Thad hadn't expected him to be so easily admitting to the question, but sometimes things would just have to surprise him in such a way


	2. Chapter 2

Thad had to admit, living with the Scarlet Scarab wasn't as difficult as he had predicted it would be. Sure, they would have their disagreements now and then, but with the Scarab's aggressiveness and protection Thad started to depend on him. Food, for example, was an obvious necessary aspect for both ends of the companionship. With Scarlet's strength and Thad's tactfulness, they would always have all three (sometimes four) meals of the day. Additionally, Scarlet was surprisingly friendly and somewhat awkward whenever he was around Thad. The speedster, oddly enough, hadn't even noticed the impression he had on Scarlet. If anything, he was _used_ to the peculiar tactics the red one often had. They had grown a somewhat kind partnership.

After a week and a half of living with each other, Thad believed that it was time to get even closer to the alternate dimension traveler. Other than the mere fact that he wanted the Scarlet Scarab to trust him, he was actually quite personally curious as to who the Scarlet Scarab really was and why the heck he was here in the first place.

So Thad waited for the perfect opportunity. Which, quite amusingly, was during lunch after the two had robbed from a poor man's shop. Not that he was poor budget-wise, but it was quite a sad sight to see him try to chase after a flying supervillain and an ex-villain speedster. The two had been eating at the usual place, which was the roof of the shack where the two had been living in. They often never spoke when they ate. Usually, they both would sit in silence and just gaze at the city.

Thad saw this as a perfect opportunity to get to know the Scarlet Scarab.

"Hey," Thad had started. He was trying to be as nonchalant as possible but his hands were trembling. Dang him and his body modifications. Where Bart was fun and an extrovert, Thad lacked that area greatly- being quite introverted and boorish. The Scarlet Scarab had turned his head to Thad anyway, tilting it in curiosity. His mouth was full with the subway sandwich that they had stolen but he still tried to reply with an "Hm?"

"I was just curious," Thad started off again, "I've come to the conclusion that you are from a different dimension, but what leads you here? Why come here?"

Scarlet Scarab looked at Thad in shock before looking down and then to the side unsteadily. It took a few seconds, but then he replied, "You really want to know?"

Thad looked at him surprised, he had never seen the teen so inaudible before. Then Thad softly said, "Yes, I would like to know."

Scarlet Scarab tensed a bit before explaining, "My leader, my mentor, Owlman… he- he'd gone missing. My… _team_ believed he was in this world on a mission. However, when we had approached him- it turns out he's learned to… like this world. Like he really wants to stay here for some odd reason. A normal person wouldn't mind this, but we…" he swallowed loudly and gripped his stomach, "we only have each other. We are supposed to _hate_ the world. Be violent and not care what anyone says. Be the bigger men in all situations. We grew up with the world hating us- so we learned to hate them."

Thad couldn't believe anything that he heard. This hatred that the Scarlet Scarab spoke of- this _loneliness_ was exactly everything Thad had felt ever since the day he was made.

"So that's why I'm here. I have to figure out what's oh so _special_ about this place that makes people like Owlman want to stay. I haven't quite figured it out yet. Well, I guess you could say I can see why people would like to be here if others are anything like you." Scarlet Scarab smirked at the speedster.

Thad turned his head uncomfortably. He responded, "I… I haven't been completely honest with you, either Scarlet Scarab."

Scarlet Scarab raised an eyebrow and said, "Please, call me Diego. And what do you mean you haven't been honest?"

Thad looked at Diego head on, face to face, "Alright… Diego, I'm actually an ex-villain. I grew up in hatred and to just be everything that my… other self isn't. I'm a clone. And I'm not supposed to have feelings. I'm only supposed to be made to hate. I've never felt those other things until recently so I ran. I gave up those bad choices and became… well, a petty thief I guess. I can't possibly be anything else. It's impossible to be a hero now, and there's no probable chance of me becoming a normal citizen. So I guess this life I have now is the best I'm going to get."

Diego's eyes dilated. And, for just a moment, he felt something in him spark that he'd never felt before.

"Well, I'll admit that I like the way things are."

Thad looked at the older teen with surprise. He didn't think the Scarlet Scarab- the same man who destroyed half a building this morning. The same person who had threatened Thad yesterday with a cannon. The same man who wanted nothing but violence on everything- this fierce, brutal, teenager _liked_ being with him? Thad had thought his presence was a burden to the stronger one. He always thought that he was just a side annoyance to the red (Ex?) villain.

But once again, that wasn't so.

"So, what next?"

Thad looked at his new… friend? He didn't know what to do. For once in his life he couldn't think- he couldn't analyze- he couldn't do anything. And it _terrified_ him.

"You okay?"

Thad flinched out of his shock. He didn't know what to do. He had so many emotions. For once in his life he felt happy. He had never had a chance to feel like this before.

"Yes, yes I am," a weary smile on his face shown as a tear trickled down his cheek, "I've just- never felt this way before."

His voice was trembling. What should he do now? What should Scar- _Diego_ do now? "I-I…"

He never got to finish his sentence as the older teen placed his hand gently on Thad's shoulder, "I'll leave you alone."


End file.
